1. Why did you start training in the martial arts?

I had just been hospitalized with a collapsed lung, and the pulmonary surgeon said I had to quit smoking or I would die. Needless to say, I believed him, and quit smoking. But I started to gain weight and could feel myself losing motivation to stay healthy. I tried a few diets and exercise programs -- going for a walk with a friend every day, for example -- but nothing stuck. One day, I was walking near a strip mall and saw a sign: "New Horizons Black Belt Academy of Tae Kwon Do." I didn't even know what Tae Kwon Do was -- I guessed it was something like Karate -- and I went in and signed up and loved it. I just went back day after day, eager to learn more, and one day, I found myself testing for my black belt.

2. What made you decide to write "Dojo Wisdom"?

Martial artists learn a lot about themselves when they train, just as anyone does when they try to master something difficult. Many of the lessons are things we already know and understand, but the training reinforces them and makes them second nature to us. So for many years, I tried to encourage people to join a martial arts school so they could change their lives like I did. And then I realized that not everyone wants to join a martial arts school -- and not everyone can. But they can learn some of the lessons of the martial arts, if they're willing to apply themselves. I wanted to reach those people who wouldn't ever learn to throw a punch, but who wanted to find their inner warrior and live life a little more courageously. Thus, "Dojo Wisdom" was born.

3. What can non-martial artists get from your book?

The book is based on making analogies from the martial arts to real life, so that you can understand how a lesson is used in martial arts and then how it is applied in real life. If you can visualize the martial arts scenario that is being described, you can see how the lesson works. Even if you don't practice martial arts, you can learn how to apply the lessons to problems and challenges you're having in your own life. Just as people use "The Art of War" to plan strategy in business without ever having planned a military campaign, people can use "Dojo Wisdom" to bring courage and strength into their own lives -- whether they ever learn to perform a side kick or not.

4. If I decided to try martial arts, what should I do first? And then?

Find out as much as you can about the martial arts that are offered in your area. (If the training isn't easily accessible to you, you will have trouble sticking with it.) Visit classes, talk with students, find out which of your friends have taken lessons, surf the internet -- and then follow your gut instinct. Your goal is to find the right teacher for you, in the right setting for you. Some people prefer a disciplined approach, and others go nuts if they have to bow and call the teacher "sensei." See the sample chapter from "Martial Arts for Dummies" for more information.

5. What's so great about learning to kick people?

Empowering yourself so that you don't have to kick people. The more I practice martial arts, the less risk I have of getting involved in a physical altercation. I have learned to defend myself and others, and I have learned to value myself, so that I'm willing to fight. But I have also learned how to conduct myself so that I don't look or act like a victim, and I've learned to sense when a conflict is about to erupt, and either de-escalate the situation, or get out of it. So I'm a lot less likely to kick someone now than I was when I began training.

6. I'm a pacifist. How can your lessons help me?

A pacifist believes in non-violent solutions to the world's problems. Believe it or not, martial artists do, too. The first thing we are taught is to say the words, "I don't want to fight." And to mean them. Most of what a martial artist learns -- and all of the lessons presented in "Dojo Wisdom" -- are about getting what you want, meeting your goals, and living life more courageously -- not by punching other people but by using your own strength, will and discipline to persevere and achieve. No violence necessary.

7. What is the single most important lesson the martial arts teach?

That you can do anything you set your mind to.

8. How do I find my inner warrior?

Finding your inner warrior takes training, and it helps to start small. It begins by knowing what you want and identifying what's important to you and letting go of the rest. A martial artist knows that it's not worth risking her life to fight over her wallet, so she doesn't. She does know that it's worth risking her life to save her child, so she does. But courage can be found in small ways, first. By speaking up at work, by telling someone they're out of line when they disrespect you, by doing something that frightens you (public speaking?) Once you've trained yourself in small ways, you'll find your inner warrior is there when you have much scarier problems to face.

9. What IS my inner warrior?

Your inner warrior is your confidence that you can handle any challenge that life throws at you -- with competence and maybe a little bit of grace.

10. What has your inner warrior helped you overcome?

I often discuss how training in martial arts finally gave me the perseverance and discipline to become a writer -- and to make my living as a writer. So finding my inner warrior helped me overcome the doubts I had about myself. But the hardest emotional challenge was learning that my daughter was seriously disabled and finding the courage to handle this frightening problem without falling apart . . . and to accept her just as she is, without worrying about what "should" be.